Hope for the Hopeless

Last week I spent yet another Sunday morning under the bridge. There are some days I go down there and the atmosphere is one of joy, other days it feels hopeless and oppressive. This particular Sunday was intense to say the least.

I saw my friend Lynaea who hadn’t been there in several weeks, which was odd because she was a known regular. I was really excited to see her! She is one of the only women that comes regularly and she is so sweet! She was one of the very first people that I was able to build a relationship with… I love her to death!

After the service ended we had a nice little chat- and the question came up as to where she had been. She said she wanted to talk about it when we could have some uninterrupted time so we decided we would talk after lunch. We met up once things calmed down and started talking. I asked her again where she had been and she said that she hadn’t been there because she had been in the hospital. Almost as soon as I could ask why she rolled up her sleeve and revealed deep cut wounds on her wrist, she told me that she had tried to commit suicide. My heart sank.

Lynaea went on to tell me how she had been really depressed lately and that she would rather be dead than living on the streets. She said among the depression and hopelessness that she had been feeling she found out that she was two months pregnant. She told me how she felt overwhelmed with the baby coming and she feels like she’s beyond the point of desperation. She hasn’t been able to stay in shelters because she doesn’t have an ID, she doesn’t have an ID because she doesn’t have the money to pay for it, she doesn’t have the money to pay for it because she can’t get a job, she can’t get a job because she doesn’t have an ID- it’s a cruel cycle.

As I listened to her and looked into her hopeless eyes, I felt inadequate to respond. I didn’t know what to say. I asked if I could pray for her. I told her that I loved her, and how I have her name written down and that I often pray over it. I told her of Christ’s love and told her that even in the darkness somehow God would bring light. I didn’t know what to say. What do you tell someone who is in what seems to be the darkest of situations? What do you tell someone who is so lost for hope that they try to end it all? How do you bring hope? She asked me “why do I feel like there is no hope anywhere?” Her eyes welled up with tears, it broke my heart. We sat on the cold, concrete curb and prayed. 

Thankfully, the family that runs the ministry was willing to help her out, I’m praying that that will be the first step in giving her some hope. It’s been haunting me since we talked… she broke my heart. I know that God has hope for her. Please pray for Lynaea, pray that Christ would invade her life and that she would have a renewed hope. Pray that maybe she could start to take steps of change in her life, pray that she would know how far, how wide, and how deep is the love of Christ.